Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
