Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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