Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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