are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
