Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
