i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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