so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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