I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
