Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize