I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize