i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
