hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
