Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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