Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
