I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
