A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
