seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
