thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
