Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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