I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
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Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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