I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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