I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
