Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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