Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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