exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
