The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
