question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
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