I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
