About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize