as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
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