I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
