Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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