no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
