Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
