Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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