I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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