You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
