He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
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Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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