Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
