There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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