There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
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Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
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I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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