areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
