dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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