Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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