Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Enjoy the penises
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
