I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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