and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
A+ Viking dick
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
