I wanna bring you to show and tell
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
