A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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