My nipple is on Facebook.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
