Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bigolbroner hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport

Fav 40 4289 809
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein

Fav 36 5441 1068
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(831): View more from California

just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf

Fav 53 17478 1299
share tweet
(864): View more from South Carolina

her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

Fav 9 2072 4394
share tweet
(310): View more from California

He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.

Fav 17 1008 3849
share tweet
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it

Fav 16 3779 1823
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week

Fav 7 1321 2830
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.

Fav 17 1736 830
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(306): View more from Saskatchewan

He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!

Fav 0 70 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT