This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
