you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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