so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?