she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.