Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
