I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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