Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
