Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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