my vag is so smooth its legendary
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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