drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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