You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
