yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
