Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
